Looking Back On The Things I've Done
by McflyNiffMonkeeFan
Summary: Sequel to I won't let another minute go to waste! Sebastian is lonely and falling deep into depression. Who can save him? None other Dave Karofsky! But can Dave really help Sebastian? Or will Sebastian get worse? Ratings might go up.
1. Chapter 1

~So, here is the first chapter. You don't have to read this story, because it is Savid, but has some side Niff!~

Disclaimer: I own no one.

Warnings: Underage drinking. Slash. Curse words.

It's been three months since he had helped Jeff and Nick get together. Three months of being alone again. Three months of drinking.

Sebastian sighed as he sat down at the bar in Scandels, throwing back his fifth beer. He was so happy for his best friend. He really was. It was just something felt weird inside of him. Like something missing.

"Can I get a beer please?" A husky voice said from beside him.

Sebastian turned to look and saw Dave Karosfky.

"It's a small world isn't it?"

Dave turned to look at him and frowned, "What do you want Smythe?"

Sebastian usually would have said something along lines of, "Looking for a good fuck, or just being my sexy self." But he just wasn't in the mood so instead he replied with, "Nothing." And then looked down at his half empty glass.

"What's wrong with you? You look like you're puppy just died."

_Why is he being nice to me? It was my fault he almost killed himself. I don't deserve his kindness. I don't deserve anything._ Sebastian thought.

"Why do you care?" He shot back.

"I don't," Dave said as he sipped his beer.

_I don't blame him. Nobody cares about me. Jeff does, but he's been spending all of his time with Nick and my mom loves me I know, but she's a million miles away in Paris. I have no one._

"Seriously though, what's wrong?" Dave pushed.

Maybe it was because of the alcohol, but Sebastian said, "Nobody cares about me." He threw a couple of bills down on the counter and stumbled to the door. It was a long walk back to Dalton. He had come with some guys, but they all found one night stands, leaving Sebastian all alone and without a ride. He was halfway through the parking lot when he heard feet running up behind him.

"Hey," It was Dave.

Sebastian stopped and turned to him, "What?" He really wasn't in the mood for this.

"I just wanted to tell you that I know what it feels like to think no one cares about you and you just feel so alone. I understand what that feels like. And I just didn't want you to go and do something that you'll regret later."

Sebastian snorted at that, "I've done more things that I regret than the number of beers I drank in the passed few months."

"Look," Dave started sighing heavy, "Why don't you let me drive you home?"

"I don't live at home. And besides my dad lives an hour and half away. I stay at Dalton."

"I can drive you there then?"

"No, thanks. I'd rather walk."

"It's dangerous to walk alone at night. Something could happen to you."

"Are you worried about me?" Sebastian smirked.

Dave was starting to get irritated, "Just get in my damn car, would ya?"

"Fine, fine." He let Dave lead him over to his car.

After a while Dave managed to get a drunken Sebastian to give him directions. As they pulled up in front of the school all of the windows were dark and made the grounds look creepy.

"How are you going to get in?" Dave wondered. When he recieved no answer he looked over, "Sebas. . .great." The other boy was passed out.

Dave sighed and drove away. It didn't take too long to get to his home. He effortlessly picked Sebastian up and carried him into the house. The football star was thankful that his father was still at work as he walked up the stairs to the guest room. There he layed Sebastian down and took off his shoes and then covered him with a blanket.

He then walked out and went to bed himself.

The next morning Sebastian awoke with his head pounding and his stomach aching. Groaning he shielded his eyes from the sun puring into the room from the window with his arm. He quickly removed it as he realized he wasn't in his room. He sat up which was a bad idea. A hot searing pain flashed through his head.

He looked around the room, there was no annoying Trent snoring or clothes strewn all over the place. The room was small, with a queen size bed, a nightstand, a dresser and a closet.

_Where the hell am I? Who did I go home with this time? I haven't had sex in so long. Wait, did I sleep with someone?_ Sebastian wondered.

His stomach clenched and he held his mouth shut tightly, trying so very hard to throw up all over the nice room. The singer slowly climbed off the bed and walked down the hall until he found the bathroom. There he was finally able to release the horrible burning bile.

When he was done he twisted the knobs of the sink and cupped his hands together and let the water fill his hands. He sipped it and sloshed the cool liquid around in his mouth then spit it into the sink.

As he walked back to the room he he dug around in his pockets for something to get the terrible taste out of his mouth. He found what he was looking for; his Tic Tacs. There was only one left and he popped it into his mouth.

_What now? Do I leave? I mean that's what I usually do or wait around until whoever I slept with tells me too. I might as well go see who got lucky with me last night._ Sebastian exhaled deeply and ventured downstairs.

He looked around in the living room to see Dave Karofsky lounging on the couch watching a football game on the flat screen T.V.

_Oh my God! Did I. . .Did we. . .Oh my God!_

Dave heard some shuffling behind him and looked around to see Sebastian leaning on the wall his hands wrapped tightly around his middle.

"Hey. It's about time you woke up. It's almost noon. Does your head hurt? I can get you something to take for it?"

Sebastian stared at him._ Why is he being so nice? I don't understand. Usually the guy tells to get the fuck out if his house or bed. But Dave is being. . .sweet? And wanting help me? This is totally new for me._

"Hello? Earth to Sebastian!"

"Um. . .what?"

Dave chuckled, "I said do you want advil or something?"

"S - sure."

"Okay, be right back. Make yourself at home."

_Home. I've never really had a home. I was happiest when I lived in Pairs, but even there I didn't fit in._ Sebastian walked over to the couch and sat down. He heard Dave mess around in the kitchen, opening and closing cabnit doors and glasses clinking together.

Soon he came back with a glass of water and two dark orange pills.

"We only have Ibprofen. Sorry."

The singer took them, "It's fine. Thank you." _Thank you? Since when does a Smythe say thank you? What's wrong with me?_

Dave sat back down the couch, stretching an arm over the back and his feet resting on the coffee table.

"Did you. . ."

"Did we sleep together?" Sebastian had to know. It was driving him crazy.

"What? No. I was driving you back to your school and you passed out so I brought back here."

"Oh, I um. . .appreciate it."

"It's no problem. Did you want a shower or something?"

"Um. . .yeah."

"Alright. I'm sure you know whwre the bathroom is," He gave Sebastian a knowing smile, "And there are towels in the cabnit. "I'll find you something to wear."

A few moments later Dave came back with a pair of basketball shirts and a white T-shirt. They looked too small to fit Dave.

"They were mine when I was like in Junior High. They still might be a little big, but they're the smallest things I have."

Sebastian mumbled a quick, "Thanks." And made his way up the stairs.

He spent maybe a little too long in the shower, but the water just felt too good his back. He then quickly dressed in Dave's clothes. Even though they were from years ago they still swallowed him.

"Like I thought. They are huge on you." Dave said to him as he walked into the living room.

Sebastian shrugged slightly as he wrapped his arms around his middle. Why all of the sudden was he so self conscience?

"I think I'm going to call Jeff and tell him to come get me now."

"I can drive you back of you want?"

"No, um. . .you've done enough for me."

"It's fine. Sit down."

Sebastian hesistated before sitting on the opposite side of the couch, farthest away from the other boy.

"Sebastian?"

"Yes?" He slowly looked over at him.

"I was wondering about what you said last night."

Sebastian was confused by this, "What did I say?"

"That no one cares about you."

_I said that? To Dave? Why?_

"Oh well I didn't mean it! Everybody loves Sebastian Smythe!" He smirked.

Dave looked unconvinced, "Just know that people do care about you, alright? I've been many dark places before and I understand how you feel."

Sebastian swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.

"Are you okay?"

_Am I okay? I don't think so. I need help, but I'm too fucking stupid to ask. I don't even think I know how to ask for help. I've always done everything by myself._

"Sebastian?"

"I'm fine." He whispered.

"You can talk to me, you know?"

"I want to go back to school."

Dave didn't reply right away, ". . .Okay." He got up and walked over to the door, grabbing his keys on the way out.

"Ready to go?"

Sebastian, without a word, rose from the couch and over to Dave. They ventured outside and into Dave's car. The ride back to Dalton was quiet. When Dave parked up front he turned to look at the other boy.

"If you ever need anything then you can give me a call or something. Here give me your number." He took out his phone.

_Do I want Dave to have my number? The only people that really have itt is Jeff, Blaine, my mother and a few people from back home in Paris. I rarely give my number to anyone._

But for some reason Sebastian said it quickly and Dave typed it into his phone and sent a quick text to Sebastian.

"Got it," He smiled and layed a hand on Sebastian's arm, "Now if you need anything and I mean anything then just call me."

_Whoa. What was that? It felt so weird when Dave touched my arm and my chest feels funny. Maybe I'm sick. I'll have to go see the nurse._

"Okay," Sebastian said sofly, "Thank you for. . .everything." He then got out of the car and made his way up the school grounds.

As he walked to the nurse's office he couldn't help to think about Dave._ He was so sweet and kind and caring and cute. . .Wait what? Where the hell did that come from? Sebastian doesn't think anyone is. . .cute._

The nurse found nothing wrong with him and sent him off. He decided to go back to his room that he shared with Trent. The boy entered the room and fell on to his bed.

"Hey dude! Are you okay? Why didn't you ever come back last night?" The plump boy asked, looking up from his comic book.

". . .it's a long story." He mumbled into his pillow. He looked at phone before drifting off. There was a message. It said, **Call or txt me anytime =]**

He didn't know why, but he smiled. It made him happy to know that Dave cared. Or even if he was just being nice. His last thougts were of a certain gay football player who was way too kind.

~Not really good. . .at all! Haha. Like seriously. It will get better! Reviews? Thanks!~


	2. Chapter 2

~Chapter one was really horrible! Let's see if I can make this chapter a million times better shall we? And longer too!~

Disclaimer: I own no one.

Warnings: Slash, cursing, mean Nick. . .for like a second!

Sebastian awoke the next morning and groaned when he realized it was Monday. He got up and much to his dismay, changed out of Dave's clothes and into his uniform. First period was English 3. His classes were one and two today, three and four on Tuesday, sixth and seventh on Wednesday. They had no classes on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

He heard his phone vibrate and the singer walked over to his bed and looked at it. It was a text from Dave. Sebastian felt his heart race as he opened the message.

**How r u doing 2day?**

I'm fine.

**R u sure? Is there anything u want 2 talk about?**

No. Sebastian replied.

**Ok. Well I'm here if u need me =] **

The truth was he did want to talk about something, but not with Dave. He needed Jeff.

As he grabbed his over the shoulder bag, he thanked God that he had all classes with Jeff today. No matter what Jeff could always make him feel so much better.

When he entered the room he took his seat right next to the said blonde. The classroom was situated in alphabetical order, Sterling and Smyth were the only S's in the room, so they got sit together.

"Hey," Jeff smiled brightly at him.

He grinned, "Hey princess."

Jeff rolled his eyes. He had gotten used to the nickname by now.

"So? What did you do yesterday?"

"I was getting over a major hangover."

Jeff frowned and it made Sebastian's heart clench.

"You really shouldn't go out drinking. What if you get caught? Then you would get expelled! And where would that leave me? Without a best friend!"

"Lighten up. I'm just having fun." Sebastian leaned back in his chair.

Jeff layed a hand on Sebastian's, it made him look into the blonde's eyes.

"I worry about you Seb. I don't like that you go out and drink and sleep around. It's dangerous."

Sebastian gently shrugged Jeff's hand off of him, "I know."

"You do know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yeah," He whispered and closed his eyes as the teacher began speaking. He was so ashamed of himself. He hated who he was.

All through class Sebastian could feel Jeff staring at him. He didn't want his friend to worry about him, but he would talk to him later. . .maybe. He just couldn't emotionally do it now.

Each class Sebastian would zone out and was oblivious to everything and everyone around. Jeff tried to get him to talk all day, he just didn't know how to start off.

_Hey Jeff I get this really weird feeling when ever I hear or see this guy that almost killed himself because of me. What does it mean?_ It all sounded crazy!

So as they walked to Warbler practice Jeff kept on trying to get some answers from him, but Sebastian just ignored him or would mumble a simple, "Yes", or "No."

They were the first into the music room that day. The taller boy walked over and dropped his bag onto the couch.

Jeff did the same and then rested a hand on Sebastian's shoulder. "What's wrong Seb? Tell me! Please! I'm so worried about you. Just tell me what's wrong?" Jeff pleaded.

Something burst inside of Sebastian. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Just leave me the hell alone Jeff!" He pushed him and Jeff fell to the floor hard.

"What's going on in here?" Nick and the others had arrived just in time to see Sebastian shove Jeff to ground.

"Jeff? Are you okay?" Nick hurried over to him to help the blonde boy up, "Tell me what happened." Worry shone in his eyes.

Jeff just stared at the singer, Nick looked back and fourth between the two of them.

"Will someone tell me what the hell just happened?" He turned to Sebastian, "We saw what you did Smythe! Why did you do it, huh?"

"Seb?" Jeff whispered.

"Ugh! Dammit! Come with me Jeff!" He grabbed Jeff's arm and began to drag him out of the room.

Nick stopped him, "Jeffy, I don't think you should go anywhere with him."

Sebastian was so mad and he wanted Nick to just leave them alone.

"Listen up Duval. I need to talk to Jeffy here, so why don't you just mind your own damn business?" He sneered.

"If you have forgotten; Jeff is my boyfriend! There for it is my business!"

"I wish Jeff never stopped me from breaking your nose too! I still might if you keep bugging me!"

"Oh yeah? Well. . ."

"Guys," Jeff yelled making them both look at him, "Look, Seb why don't we talk after practice, okay?"

The said boy glared at him, "Oh, so now Warbler practice is more important than me and my problems?"

"I didn't say that. I. . ."

"Everything is more important than you Smythe! You're just a whore and no one could ever love someone like you!"

Sebastian stopped short. _He's right. I'm nothing. A no one. Why am I even alive?_

He turned on his heels and ran out of the room. He ignored Jeff's calls.

"Sebastian! Seb!" Jeff yelled and then turned around to Nick, "Why did you say that?"

The look of hurt and betrayal on Jeff's face broke Nick's heart.

"I-I was mad! I didn't mean to." Nick looked like he was proud that he said that, but then also regretted it.

Before Nick knew it Jeff took off running after his friend. He groaned. Did he really just mess things up with Jeff. . .again?

"Damn Nick! That was awesome!" David smirked.

"Shut up David," Thad rolled his eyes.

Everyone was really getting sick of this new attitude of his.

"Nick, you shouldn't have done that." Blaine commented.

Nick sunk down into the leather couch and covered his face with his hands, "You think I don't know that Blaine!"

Jeff ran down the halls, "Seb? Where are you? Seb!"

He passed the main staircase and heard sobbing. He looked around saw Sebastian hunched over his knees sitting on the floor crying his heart out. Jeff fell to his knees bside his friend and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close.

Sebastian leaned into Jeff's touch and cried into his chest.

"Talk to me Seb. I have no idea what's going on in that head of yours and it scares me."

"Something's wrong me Jeff. I - I think I'm sick."

"Nothing is wrong with you. Why do you think that?"

"I - I ran into Dave at Scandals the other night and. . .we talked. . . and I enjoyed it. I mean he talked and I was just. . .I passed out drunk in his car and he took me back to his place and he just. . .he took care of me! No one has ever done that before! And when he texts me. . .I - I get this really weird feeling in my chest. I don't know what it is! I even went to the nurse, a lot of good that bitch did me. She said nothing was wrong. Jeff. . .Jeff. . ." He sobbed, "Am I crazy?"

"Oh Seb. . ." Jeff had to choose his words perfectly, "I know exactly what is wrong with you."

"You do? What? Tell me!" He picked his head up.

"You like him, Dave I mean. You want to be with him."

"Now that is crazy! Sebastian Smythe doesn't date! He fucks! I - I have never had the desire to date anyone!"

"Until Dave talked to you and helped you."

"Shut up! Don't say that! I don't like Dave!"

"Yes you do!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"I can't!"

"And why not?" Jeff was confused by this.

"I'm a whore Jeff! A good for nothing whore that has no feelings or remorse and I'm just a nobody. And no one will want me. . ." He whispered the last part.

"Sebastian Smythe! Don't you talk like that! You're an amazing person! You do have feelings or other wise you wouldn't have helped me out with Nick or like Dave. You have a big heart whether you realize it or not. I don't see how Dave could not like you."

"It was my fault he almost fucking killed himself last year!"

Jeff was taken a back by this, "What? What do you mean Seb?"

"I was so mean to him! I said. . .I said awful things to him Jeff! He was already scared to come out and I - I just made it worse. A few weeks later he tried to fucking hang himself!"

"I - I had no idea. . ."

"Now you fucking do! I am a horrible person! I should just kill myself! The world would be so much happier!" His sobs gew louder as he choked them out.

"Don't say Seb! There are people who care and love you!"

"Like who?" Sebastian couldn't wait to hear Jeff had to say.

"Me, you mother, and I know he doesn't act like it, but Nick cares about you too. He's greatful you helped us get together. The list goes on, Seb. I'm here for you. I always will be."

Sebastian leaned, if possible, more into the blonde boy.

"I want Dave, Jeff. I just don't know what to do."

"Hang out with him. Get to know him. Let him get to know you."

"I - I don't know how to go on a date Jeff."

"You dated me."

"I know. I just. . ." It hit him what Jeff just said he and chuckled softly, "We did, didn't we?"

"Yes we did and we had a great time except for us almost getting killed, but other than that it was awesome."

Sebastian smiled, "I guess I will text him. Huh?"

Jeff nodded, "I think that would be a good start."

"Will you stay with me tonight? Please Princess? I need you with me. I - I'm so scared of what I will do if I'm alone."

Jeff shot his head to look up at his friend, his best friend.

"Of course I will. Trent can just stay in mine and Nick's room."

Sebastian nodded and layed his head back down on Jeff's shoulder. Jeff rubbed his arm affectionately.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you and pushed you."

"It's fine. You were upset."

After Warbler practice Sebastian went to go shower.

"Behave yourself." Jeff scolded him.

His friend laughed quietly, "I'll try or you know you could just come shower with me?"

"Now that's the Seb I know. I'll meet you in your room, okay?"

"So, you're _not_ going to take a shower with me?" He pouted.

"Go shower. You stink."

Sebastian frowned, "Smythes never stink!" With that said he walked off.

Jeff shook his head smiling as he walked down the hallway to his and Nick's room. When he entered the room he grabbed a small bag with his pajamas and then his spare uniform, his toothbrush and some other things he would need.

Nick walked into the room and saw Jeff packing. Fear stabbed his chest hard.

"Wh - what are you doing?"

"Packing."

"Why?" _NO! He's leaving! My Jeffy is leaving me! I have to fix this!_

"Because Seb wants me to stay with him tonight. He's upset."

"But. . .you're coming back? Right?"

Jeff turned around to face him, "Of course I am! It's just for tonight Nicky."

Nick sighed in relief and walked over to his boyfriend engulfing Jeff into a tight hug, "I'm so sorry Jeffy! I didn't mean any of those things. I just got so angry, when I saw Smythe push you."

"I know Nicky. It's fine. I think you really should apologize to him though. He's going through some stuff and the things you said to him didn't help."

"I will right now. Where is he?"

"In the shower. Just talk to him at practice tomorrow, alright?"

Nick nodded, "I will. I promise."

Jeff gave a lop-sided grin, "Good," He kissed Nick's cheek, but Nick then grabbed his face and smashed their lips together.

Jeff moaned into the kiss, he didn't ever want it to end, but if continued to kiss Nick then he would never to get to Sebastian and his friend needed him. He gently pressed hand onto Nick's chest and pushed him away.

"I have to go, Nicky."

"Ugh! Fine."

"Trent will stay in my bed tonight, alright?"

"Okay and I want Sebastian in _his_ bed and you in Trent's! Am I clear?"

Jeff chuckled and kissed his cheek once more, "Yes, we are clear. Goodbye Nicky. I love you."

"Love you too. Promise me he will stay in his bed!"

"I swear on my life Sebastian will sleep in his bed!" Jeff chuckled.

With that said Jeff left and Nick couldn't feel more alone even when Trent showed up saying, "We are going to have so much fun! It'll be like a sleepover!"

Sebastian fell back on to his bed.

"So, did you text Dave yet?" Jeff asked as he was pulling on his t - shirt.

"No. I'm scared."

"It will be fine! He said you could text him anytime! So go for it! Oh, and if you don't then I will."

"Ugh! Fine!"

Sebastian sighed heavily and grabbed his phone up from the pillow and quickly sent the message.

Jeff plopped down on Trent's bed and sent a quick text to his Nick.

Hey! I love you sooooooo much! I miss you! I can't wait to see you in class tomorrow!

He got a reply within seconds, **I know! I miss u 2! Luv u 2! ) Trent is cool and all but he's no u. ;(**

Jeff smiled. Nick always abbreviated everything! Jeff was old fashioned and liked to spell everything out.

I know, but everything will be back to normal tomorrow! I'm going to turn in early! Night!

**Nite Jeffy. Ugh! I miss u!**

Miss you too Nicky. Goodnight night Sweetie! =]

**Nite baby**

Jeff sat his phone down and looked over at Sebastian, "So? What did he say?"

Sebastian was just staring blankly at his phone.

"Seb?" Jeff frowned and got up and walked over to his friend's bed and snatched up his phone.

"Hey!" Sebastian yelled.

Jeff quickly read it. All it was was a simple "Wat's up?"

He looked at the time he had received the message.

"Seb! You got this almost five minutes ago!"

"I know! But I didn't know what to say back!"

"Tell him you're spending time with a friend! Or something."

Sebastian grabbed his phone back and typed in, Just laying in bed. You?

**Just finished up some homework. Did u need something?**

Jeff was reading over his shoulder, "Now tell him you want to see him."

Not really. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out or something?

**Sure. When? Where?**

Sebastian looked up at Jeff with questioning eyes.

"G see a movie." Jeff mentally slapped himself. He nor Sebastian had gone to the movies since what happened almost four months ago.

"O - okay."

"You don't have to go see a movie. I forgot about what happened. . ."

"It's fine."

He sent a message to Dave, Movies? 8 o' clock. Tomorrow night?

**Sounds fun. See u then.**

Sebastian dropped his phone.

_Dave said yes? Dave said yes? Dave said yes! I can't believe it! Calm the hell down Sebastian! You're a Smythe! You don't get this excited about seeing anyone!_

Jeff picked up his friend's phone and typed something in and then showed Sebastian.

"Send this to him."

The other boy looked down at the message.

It's a date then ;)

"But. . .

"No buts! Do it now!"

"Fine."

Message sent.

Dave sent back a smiley face,** =}**

"He so likes you." Jeff commented with a smile.

The other boy grinned.

Jeff yawned, "Well I'm going to bed. Night."

"Goodnight Jeff." They both went to sleep pretty fast. It had been a long and tiring day for the both of them.

It was around 3:30 A.M. when Jeff awoke to screaming. Sebastian was yelling and thrashing around in his bed. The blonde singer jumped up and ran over to the other side of the room.

"Seb! Wake up! You're dreaming! Wake up!"

Sebastian jerked up in bed breathing hard and sweating something fierce.

"Hey," Jeff said whispered, "You're okay now."

The other boy swallowed hard, "I - I. . ."He broke down crying.

Jeff pulled him into his arms, "You're okay now Seb. Nothing is going to hurt you."

"Don't leave me Jeff. Stay here." Sebastian's voice sound so, so small and innocent.

"I won't. I promise."

Sebastian moved over so that Jeff could lie next to him. They wrapped their arms around one another as Sebastian sobbed quietly. Jeff looked down at Sebastian. He had never seen the great Sebastian Smythe so confused, so broken. . .so not Sebastian.

Jeff made it his goal to get Sebastian and David together. His friend needed love. His friend needed to feel wanted.

~So, as I look back on this, I don't know which chapter was worse. This one or chapter one! Sorry! Ugh! I don't know why I can't get my head into this! I guess it's because I'm still obssessing over Niff right now! I think I will for a long time! But I have big, big, BIG plans up ahead for Savid and Niff! So, stick with me!~


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